Recently, I was at a party, and a man who, like myself, was in his late 40s, arrived with a woman 20 years younger. It took only a few moments of conversation before the rest of the group realized that the two had very little in common. And yet I did not feel the frisson of envy among the men present, nor did I see a bristle of jealousy from any of the stylish, accomplished women in their 40s. In fact, the mood of both genders was tender, almost pitying. The man may have imagined that he was showing off the youth of his date the way he might show off a new Maserati; but parading her around like an acquisition seemed only to make his friends feel sorry for him.
I look around at the magnetic and dynamic women my own age, I look at my own life, and instead that script seems more like a convenient fiction — designed, as so many aspects of “the beauty myth” are, to make women feel less powerful; in this case, just when their power, magnetism and sexuality are at their height.
I had thought that getting older would be harder. The common cultural script tells us that women lose value as they age and that men will trade in their counterparts for younger versions (because, of course, that would be trading up). Middle-aged women are supposed to face the loss of their youthful selves with grief and anguish.
Read the rest of this piece at the Washington Post.
Naomi hosted a Q&A on the ‘Aging Myth’. Go to:
http://live.washingtonpost.com/naomi-wolf-on-the-aging-myth.html
:: Photo courtesy of Grant Delin / For The Washington Post ::
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© Copyright 2012 Naomi Wolf | http://naomiwolf.org
I’m only 32, but I’ve found the older I get, the more comfortable I get in my own skin. I just know myself better, and know what I need and how to take care of myself. I’m sure it helps that I have a loving husband and not a wrinkle in sight, lol. I read somewhere that in certain tribal cultures, post-menopausal women were exonerated for and freed by their new androgyny.
Dear Ms. Wolf. Thank you so much for your book ‘The Beauty Myth’, it’s a great, liberating and insightful book. I have just read it – 20 years after it came out- and found it still very meaningful. Reading it made me a big fan of yours and your feminist thoughts. I must say though that I did not feel great after reading your recent article, “20 Years After the Beauty Myth” however. First of all, I was surprised by your vehement criticism of the ’20-something year old beauties’. I found your comments were harsh and judgmental whereas you also state that the beauty myth has gotten worse in the last decades which makes women like that probably even more likely to exist. Where is the female solidarity you were begging for in your book? I’m turning 30 next month and have lost friends to anorexia/bulemia. Where do I stand in your 40-something successful beauties versus the 20-something wallpaper beauties? Shouldn’t we just all stand together against the beauty and aging myths? Also, I am a little bit shocked that you like receiving comments from perfect strangers. Even if they’re compliments, they’re still sexual and they are still only talking about ‘beauty’. I personally always feel harassed by any sort of comments coming from strangers that I receive while walking on the street. If I’m walking down the street it’s because I’m going somewhere, not because I am asking to be judged on my ‘beauty’ by random men. I found those aspects of your article quite contrary to the spirit of your book. I just hope that this article is not expressing correctly the way you feel about all this. Or perhaps I have misunderstood your sentiments? This being said, I will keep following you and other feminists writers on the subject because it’s an essential one. And I will forever be grateful for ‘The Beauty Myth’ as it has freed me from a heavy load and allowed me to look at my womanhood in a different way.
Lets see, Naomi Wolf or Paris Hilton? Ms Wolf hands down. The older I get the better looking mature women get. Funny how that works. I too would feel sorry for them both.